yes, dear Robyne. as i do some editing tonight, work through a temporary heartache related to some work i'm engaged with, I feel you and hear you. thank you for sharing this.
Dear ones, and here I sit welcoming the reminder to "be okay to be okay" in THIS moment. This moment. This moment. For those in the early, middle of your lives... can you fathom (I never could) what it is to be in one's 70's, want for nothing (THANK GODDESS), alone (divorced in 2000) with 2 little rescue dogs (thank goddess again!)... 2 kids grown and gone, building their own families far from me. And with all this as a survivor of DV/SA trauma, and professional advocate, trainer, Service coordinator for disabled survivors of DV/SA near to 40 years... I sit retired and utterly alone in this stillness in total awe. I meet this ability/phenomenon to be still, observe, every day with an awareness I never found time or space to be privy to, and I find myself (after reading this entry, Elena) spontaneously offering a deep bow to those in the medical field, other/all first responders, and any and all support roles of others in hopes they discover the magic of pulling back from (said with love) the"trenches", and find "the moment" to rest in and acknowledge the stillness that resides. Blessings dear ones, blessings... what would we do without you? 🙏 With much metta and gratitude. Thank you. Gassho 🙏
What’s here right now is my three year old with a rattling cough and ear infection on my lap, while I type this with my right thumb
Cooled boiled water on the coffee table which I can reach only with great effort
Peppa pig on the iPad
The sense of squeeze - into the sofa, of my child, most grossly of my mind, which wants to exit from here and get sore hips moving and food made, wondering how being caught between surrender and resistance can be so uncomfortable, inside and out
Also appreciated the post from Yung, thank you for all of this.
I’ve had a long weekend full of turbulent thoughts and this has been a timely reminder that there is no past, no future, only here and now, this moment. Grateful for the nudge back to myself, if only for a few minutes before the day begins. [as I loop back to re-read, my mind is still bouncing all over the place, but you have planted the seed]
I have been working over the past year and a half to find and maintain balance - the more I am in balance, the easier it is to notice when I’m off balance (and it doesn’t seem to take much!!). When I listen to my inner knowing, and focus on what recharges me rather than what depletes me, I am much closer to a balanced self, even if it means also coexisting with both relief and sadness.
Here right now:
Quiet house - everyone is asleep
Coffee + reading
Slow breathing
Busy mind + busy day ahead
Focus on this moment and feeling grateful for what surrounds me, even as the questions and fears continue to pop their little heads up, knowing that I also have time carved out for myself this afternoon/evening with space to just be.
I love the bolded sentence. It’s so true that fictions are created…i like the note to normalize human fear and its history but can lead to behavioral habits that aren’t helpful! Thanks for the read
i cannot even relay how profound it was to hear their tales, their grief, their daily smallest victories, sister. i hope to continue this way. it feels hopeful. love!
I feel so hopeful, witnessing your community of conscious healers. Thanks for reminding me to keep making space in the noise. I've had quite a bit this week. Those fictions sure are intoxicating :)
It was an unexpectedly enriching weekend; listening to their stories, travails and healings changed me. I'm still digesting. And yes, the fictions. Those.
Woooo, this was a rich one! 😮💨 ✨ it’s when you wrote “to see things as they are,” that I was reminded all over again — the sooner I can let go of the story I’m telling myself about what occurred and truly accept that things are rarely 100% one persons fault — I am free. Even if it’s 98% their fault and 2% mine, the sooner I can lay hold of my 2%, there is liberation.
What is here for me today…
Grief : my beloved mother- in-law passed away two days ago
Pain : from the intense whole-body crying
Love : for all that she meant to me and all that she taught me
Gratitude : for the timeliness of the Nurture studies
Relief : allowing myself to simply float on the waves of what is
yes, dear Robyne. as i do some editing tonight, work through a temporary heartache related to some work i'm engaged with, I feel you and hear you. thank you for sharing this.
Dear ones, and here I sit welcoming the reminder to "be okay to be okay" in THIS moment. This moment. This moment. For those in the early, middle of your lives... can you fathom (I never could) what it is to be in one's 70's, want for nothing (THANK GODDESS), alone (divorced in 2000) with 2 little rescue dogs (thank goddess again!)... 2 kids grown and gone, building their own families far from me. And with all this as a survivor of DV/SA trauma, and professional advocate, trainer, Service coordinator for disabled survivors of DV/SA near to 40 years... I sit retired and utterly alone in this stillness in total awe. I meet this ability/phenomenon to be still, observe, every day with an awareness I never found time or space to be privy to, and I find myself (after reading this entry, Elena) spontaneously offering a deep bow to those in the medical field, other/all first responders, and any and all support roles of others in hopes they discover the magic of pulling back from (said with love) the"trenches", and find "the moment" to rest in and acknowledge the stillness that resides. Blessings dear ones, blessings... what would we do without you? 🙏 With much metta and gratitude. Thank you. Gassho 🙏
thank you, dear V.
🙏💕✨
This read reminded me of one of my most favorite Mary Oliver poems:
The Uses of Sorrow | Mary Oliver
(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)
Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.
Thank you for your wise words. I enjoy reading them so much.
gosh i always love reading your thoughts, Jessie, and of course this poem. yes.
Appreciate this invitation Elena.
What’s here right now is my three year old with a rattling cough and ear infection on my lap, while I type this with my right thumb
Cooled boiled water on the coffee table which I can reach only with great effort
Peppa pig on the iPad
The sense of squeeze - into the sofa, of my child, most grossly of my mind, which wants to exit from here and get sore hips moving and food made, wondering how being caught between surrender and resistance can be so uncomfortable, inside and out
Also appreciated the post from Yung, thank you for all of this.
gosh. i felt that. been there. so many times. just the matter of making the bed on those days was a major undertaking. i get it.
Oh yes, I just did a load of laundry and feeling accomplished!
I’ve had a long weekend full of turbulent thoughts and this has been a timely reminder that there is no past, no future, only here and now, this moment. Grateful for the nudge back to myself, if only for a few minutes before the day begins. [as I loop back to re-read, my mind is still bouncing all over the place, but you have planted the seed]
I have been working over the past year and a half to find and maintain balance - the more I am in balance, the easier it is to notice when I’m off balance (and it doesn’t seem to take much!!). When I listen to my inner knowing, and focus on what recharges me rather than what depletes me, I am much closer to a balanced self, even if it means also coexisting with both relief and sadness.
Here right now:
Quiet house - everyone is asleep
Coffee + reading
Slow breathing
Busy mind + busy day ahead
Focus on this moment and feeling grateful for what surrounds me, even as the questions and fears continue to pop their little heads up, knowing that I also have time carved out for myself this afternoon/evening with space to just be.
Thank you Elena
ANGELA [quiet house coffee gratitude is a wondrous, lucky list]
I love the bolded sentence. It’s so true that fictions are created…i like the note to normalize human fear and its history but can lead to behavioral habits that aren’t helpful! Thanks for the read
you bet, Reesey. thank you for being here.
What a gift you and your fellow teachers are giving the medical community and all of us as a result! Thank you
i cannot even relay how profound it was to hear their tales, their grief, their daily smallest victories, sister. i hope to continue this way. it feels hopeful. love!
I feel so hopeful, witnessing your community of conscious healers. Thanks for reminding me to keep making space in the noise. I've had quite a bit this week. Those fictions sure are intoxicating :)
It was an unexpectedly enriching weekend; listening to their stories, travails and healings changed me. I'm still digesting. And yes, the fictions. Those.
Headache, that is all 💆♀️
Alexandra... with you
Woooo, this was a rich one! 😮💨 ✨ it’s when you wrote “to see things as they are,” that I was reminded all over again — the sooner I can let go of the story I’m telling myself about what occurred and truly accept that things are rarely 100% one persons fault — I am free. Even if it’s 98% their fault and 2% mine, the sooner I can lay hold of my 2%, there is liberation.
liberation, Pete. yes.
Breathe… all is well ❤️